Weep Not for the Memories
by 3rdgymbros
Summary: Lou's grown used to not having her brother around, but every now and then, she'll be reminded of what she had and what they could have been.


**A/N:** There is a very sad lack of fanfic featuring Lou Ellen and Alabaster C Torrington being siblings, and I am here to change that. Reviews, favorites and follows are appreciated!

* * *

Lou Ellen sprinted ahead of Alabaster, across the park to the playground and immediately swarmed up the cone-shaped rope climbing frame. Alabaster followed through the gate, found the nearest bench and sat down. He checked his watch, but it wasn't time to head back to camp yet.

"See, Alabaster, I can do this one too!" Lou called to him, hanging off the pinnacle and waving. Alabaster waved back.

At the age of twelve, Alabaster considered himself too old to be swinging about on monkey bars, but he hadn't really minded when Lou had clamored to visit a playground. (Ethan had snickered and called him whipped, and Alabaster had glared, but had been unable to come up with a suitable retort.) She'd dragged him half-way across New York to her desired destination, excitedly chattering about the long, curved slides and the wooden playground structure made to look like a pirate ship, complete with a plank and a billowing black flag, adorned with the iconic skull and cross-bones. The heavy grey skies meant that the play park was devoid of other children, although some hardy souls were playing football in the adjoining field.

"You're not watching!"

"Sorry, Lou." He offered Lou a faint smile, watching his younger sister, who was now trying to balance on one foot on the slender rope, the toes of her other foot pointed like a ballerina's. "Be careful, okay?"

"Don't worry, I can fly!"

 _But you can't_ , Alabaster thought, halfway off the bench, poised to run and catch Lou if she fell. Lou put both her feet back on the rope and he sat back down on the bench, heaving a silent sigh of relief.

"Watch this!"

"Okay."

"Look, no hands! Whoops!"

Instinctively, he was off the bench again, but Lou managed to catch herself. Lou threw her head back and laughed, thrilled, Alabaster much less so. He debated calling Ethan for back-up, but the son of Nemesis would probably laugh at him and encourage Lou for good measure.

Alabaster settled for calling out a warning instead. "Lou, be careful!"

"I _am_!"

Her response elicited an incredulous stare from him, to which Lou smiled innocently, looking as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. Alabaster stifled a groan. He had nectar and ambrosia in his pack, but he'd prefer to have a whole day pass without having to use it for a change.

" _Lou_."

"Okay, okay!"

On the climbing frame, Lou was pushing her feet one way on the rope and her hands the other way on the central pole, making the cone spin on its axis. Her entire attention was on going as fast as possible. Chocolate brown curls tumbled around her face and her dull green jacket was half open.

Deciding that the frame was spinning as fast as possible, Lou scrambled down and jumped off. She landed with a happy whoosh, sure on both feet, and ran to the swings. Soon, Lou's shrieks of happiness reached Alabaster's ears. His shoulders relaxed and his soul smiled.

It was so rare that Lou got to act like a normal child, running and laughing like an average seven-year old, without the world resting on those slender shoulders for a change.

He'd tried to shield her from some of the more cruel taunts – "Freak", "Witch" – but there was only so much he could do. Some of the kids at camp could be cruel, especially when Lou, still unable to control her own magic, had accidentally turned some of them into frogs and polecats.

The campers – even their own cabin mates – had given Lou a wide berth after that. They'd avoided her as though she were contagious.

So much for family loyalty.

Lou didn't let it bother her for the most part, but there were the bad days when she would cry, quiet and heartbreaking sniffles into her pillow at night when all the hushed whispers and giggles had faded away. Those were the nights when he would crawl into her single bed and stroke her hair until she fell asleep, sobs ebbing away into quiet inhales and exhales. When he would think about how twisted the Gods were, to so callously ignore one of their blatantly unhappy children.

If they really were all-knowing and all-seeing, couldn't they at least spend five minutes comforting a crying child?

Sometimes, Alabaster wondered who the real monsters were.

"Alabaster!" Panting, Lou came running up from the swings, her curls bouncing, face flushed and eyes bright. "Do you have my water bottle?"

He forced a smile, aware of keen emerald eyes trained onto his face. Alabaster produced it. Lou took a long drink, wiping her mouth on her sleeve when she was done.

"Not on your sleeve, please, Lou," Alabaster chided gently, wiping that round and damp face with a clean handkerchief.

Lou pulled a face, but obliged. She handed the bottle and the cap back to him separately. "Come and push me," she said, and sprinted back to the swings.

Alabaster got up to join her.

* * *

"Lou Ellen?"

 _That's not Alabaster._

Her name is accompanied with a hesitant poke to her forearm. Lou Ellen wakes with a start, feeling rough bark press into her spine. She's crying. Lou Ellen's head is turned to the side, her long lashes forming dark crescents, but the hot tears push through unrelentingly. She touches a cheek that is glistening wet and in her mind comes a refrain that sounds eerily like Alabaster's voice: _Don't cry, Lou. Don't cry. Please don't cry. Everything's going to be okay._

Lou Ellen looks up at Nico and Hazel, their faces identical pictures of concern. For a moment she flashes back to Alabaster.

She looks Nico in the eyes and for a minute, has difficulty focusing. "Yes?"

"You fell asleep. It's time for dinner."

"Okay."

Hazel's eyes slide from Nico to Lou Ellen as she speaks. "You're crying."

"Okay."

"We'll see you at the dining pavilion?" Hazel's smiling, but there's a hint of uncertainty in her voice. "We could save you a seat."

"Okay."

Lou Ellen watches them walk away, hand-in-hand down the gravel path with its russet-colored trees. Hazel's wearing a skirt in some kind of pale, floaty material, and her purple SPQR T-shirt. She's talking to Nico, and her face is tilted up to his. Nico cracks a rare smile as he bends down to listen. The effect is a Kodak moment, filled with love and joy, and happiness. Lou Ellen feels as though she's been punched in the gut.

She'd been like that too, once upon a time.

" _I'm your big Brother now. That means we're family. And we're all going to stick together."_

" _Forever and ever?"_

" _Forever and ever."_

 _I had a brother_ , she thinks, in something akin to a mingled sense of jealousy and despair. _I had a brother, but he was taken away._

Lou Ellen closes her eyes. She has a blinding headache.


End file.
